{"id":1814,"date":"2020-06-07T14:01:59","date_gmt":"2020-06-07T13:01:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=1814"},"modified":"2020-06-07T14:02:04","modified_gmt":"2020-06-07T13:02:04","slug":"how-to-talk-to-young-kids-about-violence-hate-other-terrifying-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2020\/06\/07\/how-to-talk-to-young-kids-about-violence-hate-other-terrifying-things\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Talk To Young Kids About Violence, Hate & Other Terrifying Things"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below are some tools and strategies for leaning into age-appropriate discussions of injustice, racism, and other tough topics \u2014 and tailoring the conversation to educate and comfort kids.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Lindsay Tigar at The Ladders<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The recent murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Tony McDade are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to systemic racism and violence against Black Americans. And as the (now also often violent) protests continue to unfold across the country and the world, kids and parents alike are feeling scared right now. With these murders as with any tragedy \u2014 especially those involving senseless police brutality and undelivered justice \u2014 the current events are likely leaving very young children with big questions that you might find difficult to answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can we help kids stay safe (and as free from psychological damage as possible) while also helping them grow and learn tactics to overcome fear and deal with harsh realities? Here\u2019s how you can do your best to explain the unexplainable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKids are big thinkers, and their imaginations are not limited to fun, carefree topics,\u201d explains clinical psychologist and author Stephanie O\u2019Leary. \u201cWhen you have honest, age-appropriate conversations about scary things, you provide an outlet for your child\u2019s feelings, model healthy coping and establish that you are a source of support, even when topics are uncomfortable or frightening,\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below are some tools and strategies for leaning into age-appropriate discussions of injustice, racism, and other tough topics \u2014 and tailoring the conversation to educate and comfort kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Racism, bullying, xenophobia, discrimination & hate<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Depending on your community, your child might be surrounded by people of a thousand different cultures the moment she\u2019s born. But she might not be. For children in homogenous communities, it can be a startling discovery to meet people from other backgrounds. Young kids may not know how to act around people who are different from them \u2014 or how to respond if they see or hear about someone being abused or otherwise mistreated because of their race, religion, culture, sexual or gender identity, disability, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For kids under 5:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The key here, O\u2019Leary says, is to never avoid questions about race, religion or other identifiers, as you could inadvertently breed a judgmental attitude in kids by making something seem like a taboo topic. It\u2019s an unfortunate reality of our time that your child will witness or be on the receiving end of an act of discrimination at some point \u2014 and be rightfully baffled by the hatred behind that act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is when O\u2019Leary says to allow kids\u2019 questions to come up as they may. Make sure the child knows the scary thing that happened is absolutely wrong \u2014 but that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s wrong to talk about it. This way, you can turn the unfortunate experience into a learning opportunity. If your child asks questions about someone who was mistreated, \u201cit\u2019s best to answer honestly and keep lines of communication open,\u201d O\u2019Leary says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For kids ages 5 to 10:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a child develops friendships, meets new people and expands their community, they might become more candid about their questions and perhaps more direct. At this age, you can step in and help them develop a healthy \u2014 positive but assertive \u2014 attitude. \u201cTalking about current events and daily experiences within your community are great places to start because discrimination is not a thing of the past,\u201d O\u2019Leary says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She also adds that it\u2019s important to prepare your child for what, unfortunately, is the inevitable. He or she will observe or experience acts of hate or discrimination and will likely be confused about how to react. Here, O\u2019Leary says to get personal with your preteen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShare personal experiences to model how you felt, how you reacted and what you wish you had done differently. Choosing examples from your own childhood will make the biggest impact on your son or daughter. Focusing on practical steps your child can take is important, such as being vocal or seeking help when observing bullying,\u201d she suggests. There are also plenty of ways to teach kids to be allies in the fight against systemic racism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gun violence, police violence & terrorism<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The statistics on gun violence in the United States are baffling. Our country has 29.7 homicides by firearm per 1 million people (which, for example, is almost 16 times as many as Germany has). The U.S. has 4.4 percent of the world\u2019s population, but almost 50 percent of the civilian-owned guns in the world. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are more than 31,000 deaths every year involving guns in the United States. This makes the topic that much more fraught \u2014 and more likely to come up with a child. From the minor (\u201cguns\u201d in video games) to the major (the mass shootings in the news that now occur nearly daily), kids are bound to encounter gun violence at some point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEven if you try hard to monitor what your child is exposed to, guns are present on television, integrated into various toys and action figures and carried by various authority figures, including police officers,\u201d O\u2019Leary explains. It\u2019s never too early to start talking about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might be asked questions like \u201cWhy would someone do this?\u201d or \u201cAre they coming for us next?\u201d Sadly, these inquiries don\u2019t always have concrete answers; but you can provide valuable context.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For kids under 5:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O\u2019Leary says the most important lesson to teach a preschooler is that under no circumstances are guns toys; it\u2019s important to underline how much harm they can cause. \u201cAnswer any questions that may arise simply and honestly to provide factual information without creating undue anxiety,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While O\u2019Leary doesn\u2019t suggest approaching a topic like terrorism with a child under five unless they specifically ask, she says that being direct and simple \u2014 without providing graphic details \u2014 is ideal. However, with one important caveat: Avoid labels and dichotomies such as \u201cgood guys\u201d versus \u201cbad guys.\u201d \u201cThis perpetuates the idea of continued conflict,\u201d O\u2019Leary explains, \u201cand it\u2019s likely less stressful for your child to hear you say, \u2018There are some people who want to hurt others who are different, and we do everything we can to try and stop that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For kids ages 5 to 10:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With a more mature child, O\u2019Leary says you can get more specific regarding gun safety and offer solutions for how to protect themselves and handle various situations. \u201cReview what you expect them to do if they are ever in a situation where a gun is present,\u201d O\u2019Leary urges. \u201cWhile every parent fears this, the fact is that guns are often present in homes. Gun violence can occur even during innocent playdates,\u201d she adds. \u201cEmpower your child with a focus on safety, and answer any questions that arise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a kid ages through elementary school, they may become more comfortable talking about what they hear at school and throughout the community. This makes them consider violence through a more analytic lens since they might have had experiences with it \u2014 or are even just asking about why they have to go through a metal detector at an airport or concert. \u201cAt this age, you can provide some more factual background regarding the cultural and political circumstances that have contributed to [violent] acts as well as the specific safeguards that your family relies on for safety,\u201d O\u2019Leary suggests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world we live in can be a frightening place, and the people in it don\u2019t often help. But when you\u2019re raising kids, it\u2019s always more helpful to have sad, difficult conversations than no conversations at all. That way, you can prepare your kids as well as you can to face our frightening world \u2014 and change it for the better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Originally published on SheKnows.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Below are some tools and strategies for leaning into age-appropriate discussions of injustice, racism, and other tough topics \u2014 and tailoring the conversation to educate and comfort kids. By Lindsay Tigar at The Ladders The…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1815,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[494,496,495],"class_list":["post-1814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-kids","tag-racism","tag-violence"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Talk To Young Kids About Violence, Hate & Other Terrifying Things - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2020\/06\/07\/how-to-talk-to-young-kids-about-violence-hate-other-terrifying-things\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Talk To Young Kids About Violence, Hate & Other Terrifying Things - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Below are some tools and strategies for leaning into age-appropriate discussions of injustice, racism, and other tough topics \u2014 and tailoring the conversation to educate and comfort kids. 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