{"id":3250,"date":"2020-10-19T11:04:31","date_gmt":"2020-10-19T10:04:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=3250"},"modified":"2020-10-19T11:04:35","modified_gmt":"2020-10-19T10:04:35","slug":"what-is-your-definition-of-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/19\/what-is-your-definition-of-success\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Your Definition of Success?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The Checklist for Happiness<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By Katie Goodman (NSL Experience)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Last week, I asked the wrong question: What is your definition of success? I wondered about happiness and about accomplishment and how the twain shall meet. But my real question was \u201chow do we have a basically fulfilling life?\u201d And I think the answer is that \u201cmeaning\u201d is what leads to a sense of fulfillment and happiness. This is not exactly a news flash, so why do we spend so much of our time in the land of accomplishment, comparing ourselves with the competition, working toward a raise or promotion, and simply trying to just get shit done?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I started reading Martin Seligman\u2019s new book Flourish. So far it answers the question of what leads to \u201cwell-being.\u201d Interestingly, happiness is relegated to just one piece of the pie and this he calls Positive Emotion. Ya know: smiling a lot. The others pieces are Flow or Engagement, Relationship Building, Love, Meaning (which is something bigger than the self), Gratitude, and finally Success or Mastery for its own sake, which he calls Accomplishment. This is a much clearer picture of what it takes. It\u2019s a nice checklist. You can look at it and say, \u201cOh that\u2019s why this month sucks: no relationship building.\u201d Or, \u201cWhat am I missing? No mastery. Got it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Last week I was in a bit of a funk and for no apparent reason, it seemed. I was getting all kinds of accolades and juicy bits of success, which were meaningful because I love my work, and I was having terrific lunches with friends (relationship building), and my health was good and I appreciated it (gratitude). What was missing? Ah! No flow! Flow is a big part of my life when I\u2019m writing\u200a\u2014\u200ait\u2019s about being so caught up in what you\u2019re doing you don\u2019t notice the time fly by. When mid-week I started writing 2 new comedy songs, things turned around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the things Seligman talks about is how much energy many of us put into accomplishment, but it\u2019s often pursued even when it brings no positive emotion, no meaning, and no positive relationships. There is a piece of this that is important and that\u2019s mastery. This looks like winning for the sake of winning. This is a part of well-being, but in our culture of winner-takes-all it can become our main focus, swallowing up all our time without our stopping to notice that it\u2019s not doing much for us in a big-picture-am-I-happy sort of way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"686\" data-attachment-id=\"3252\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/19\/what-is-your-definition-of-success\/black-businessman-using-cell-phone-on-city-street\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d.jpg?fit=1431%2C958&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1431,958\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;5.6&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;Jose Luis Pelaez Inc\\\/Blend Images&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;NIKON D800&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;Black businessman using cell phone on city street&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1384518497&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;\\u00a9Jose Luis Pelaez Inc\\\/Blend Images LLC&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;116&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;800&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.0025&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Black businessman using cell phone on city street&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Black businessman using cell phone on city street\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Black businessman using cell phone on city street&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d.jpg?fit=300%2C201&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d.jpg?fit=1024%2C686&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d-1024x686.jpg?resize=1024%2C686&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3252\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d.jpg?resize=1024%2C686&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d.jpg?resize=300%2C201&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d.jpg?resize=768%2C514&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/towncryyers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/GettyImages-494324473-resize-54c87d.jpg?w=1431&amp;ssl=1 1431w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But how do we stop? The addictive nature of achievement is supported by the culture. Yeah, there\u2019s meditation, there\u2019s vacation, there\u2019s really good and surprisingly cheap Chardonnay, and of course sex. And sometimes all together. But the next morning, many of us just pick up where we left off, go to work and spend the day grasping for more \u201csuccess.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A checklist like this might help. Separating the bits of one\u2019s day, week, year, life with a look at the pieces of the pie is helping me step back and see if I\u2019m giving enough time to each part of the Well-Being cocktail. Like a Long Island iced tea, mixed properly, you won\u2019t wake up each day hungover, wondering why you\u2019re depressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But one other thing I noticed in this plan is that almost all of it involves other people. Gratitude is often about others: Better Relationships and Love are (duh), \u201cMeaning\u201d which is caring about something bigger than yourself can be about saving the planet which is in part about caring for people and our future, and Accomplishment has something to do with what others think of you, or at least offers an opportunity to gloat\/share\/wonder with others. So I\u2019m taking a look at what each of these on this checklist has to offer my life in connection to other people and to give that some weight and attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>It\u2019s the people, stupid.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Right now I\u2019m on a plane with my cute kid (Gratitude), on the way to a vacation (Positive Emotion), to see family (Relationship Building, Love), writing this piece and finishing a song (Flow), and tackling my new music software (Mastery), while trying to figure out the formula for well-being and writing this song that satirically criticizes federal budget cuts (Meaning).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Check, check check, check, check, check, check. With a flourish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Katie Goodman is an award-winning comedian, author, speaker, actress and social activist who has taught over 10,000 people the art of improvisational comedy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Please go to nslexperience.com and follow @nslexperience to learn more and come along on the learning journey with us!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Checklist for Happiness By Katie Goodman (NSL Experience) Last week, I asked the wrong question: What is your definition of success? I wondered about happiness and about accomplishment and how the twain shall meet&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3251,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9,10],"tags":[179],"class_list":["post-3250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-health","tag-success"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What Is Your Definition of Success? - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/19\/what-is-your-definition-of-success\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Is Your Definition of Success? - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Checklist for Happiness By Katie Goodman (NSL Experience) Last week, I asked the wrong question: What is your definition of success? 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