{"id":4008,"date":"2021-02-07T16:54:11","date_gmt":"2021-02-07T15:54:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=4008"},"modified":"2021-02-07T16:54:17","modified_gmt":"2021-02-07T15:54:17","slug":"the-art-of-asking-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/07\/the-art-of-asking-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Asking Questions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>An under-considered key to successful relationships, professional and personal.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By Marty Nemko Ph.D.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The art of questioning is an under-considered key to professional and personal success. It makes people feel cared about and you get to learn, especially if you ask good questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And we have more opportunities to ask questions that we may realize: At meetings even if just on Zoom, creating a family history or slideshow for a major birthday, interviewing someone for a job, or on a date, interviewing someone for your employer\u2019s newsletter, or in your podcast. I have clients who set up podcasts specifically to improve their employability \u2014 they interview people they\u2019d like to hire them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Becoming a better questioner<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of course, it helps if you\u2019re curious, but even if you\u2019re not, recognizing the importance of questioning, pretend you are: \u201cWhat questions would a curious person ask?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Also key is to listen: Your best questions may be follow-ups to what the person said. When they\u2019re talking, rather than mainly thinking about what you\u2019re going to say, listen for a possible follow-up to ask. For example, \u201cCan you give me an example? Or even just, \u201cTell me more.\u201d But politely raising a counterpoint can also work: \u201cI\u2019m not sure how that would work because of X. What do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Start easy. No one wants to feel put on the spot. That\u2019s why on quiz shows, for example, NPR\u2019s Wait, Wait Don\u2019t Tell Me, the host\u2019s first question of a caller is, \u201cWhere are you from? \u201c And then, \u201cTell me something about the area.\u201d Those are questions nearly anyone can comfortably answer. There\u2019s time later to be more probing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019ll never forget interviewing Los Angeles Dodger legend Maury Wills. I started with easy questions like, \u201cSo what have you been doing since you retired?\u201d But after he felt comfortable, I asked, \u201cThe Dodgers had a reputation of doctoring the baseball so that pitches dipsy-do. Was that true, and if so, any idea how they did it?&#8221; Wills admitted that he was responsible: After a strikeout, the catcher throws the ball around the infield, and when it came to Wills, he rubbed it against an emery cloth that he had hidden in his glove. If I had asked that question first, I doubt if he would have been so forthcoming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Be disclosing. If you mainly ask questions, you risk coming off like an interrogator. Balance asking with telling, asking probing questions with making disclosures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>A few questions to keep in your quiver<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As mentioned, the best questions often come in response to listening to what the person said, but these questions are good to keep in reserve:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What are you thinking about these days?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What are you looking forward to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What might surprise me about (insert a topic s\/he knows a lot about)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s something not obvious about (insert a topic s\/he knows a lot about)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s the best and worst thing about X?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I\u2019d be hypocritical if I didn\u2019t leave you with a question. So, is there anything in the foregoing that you\u2019d like to incorporate into your interactions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Originally published at Psychology Today<\/em><strong><em><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>An under-considered key to successful relationships, professional and personal. By Marty Nemko Ph.D. The art of questioning is an under-considered key to professional and personal success. It makes people feel cared about and you get&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4009,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[1139],"class_list":["post-4008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-asking-questions"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Art of Asking Questions - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/07\/the-art-of-asking-questions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Art of Asking Questions - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"An under-considered key to successful relationships, professional and personal. 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