{"id":4549,"date":"2021-04-25T19:13:08","date_gmt":"2021-04-25T18:13:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=4549"},"modified":"2021-04-25T19:13:14","modified_gmt":"2021-04-25T18:13:14","slug":"7-ways-to-become-a-better-listener","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/25\/7-ways-to-become-a-better-listener\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Ways To Become A Better Listener"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a more empathetic and active listener can help improve your communication skills and strengthen your relationships.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Jonathan Alpert, Psychotherapist, executive performance coach, and author of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days. Twitter: @JonathanAlpert<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, probably more than ever, most people can use someone who really listens and understands them.  With the pandemic gripping the country and high unemployment rates as a result, chances are if someone hasn\u2019t been personally impacted by the pandemic, then they know someone who has.  Sometimes simply listening can make all the difference in the world to that person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think of someone who makes you feel comfortable and relaxed no matter how chaotic your life may be. Someone who makes you feel that all is right with the world even if it may be crashing down in front of you. When you need comfort, who do you turn to? My guess is whoever this person, he or she possesses one vitally important trait: good listening skills. Being a good listener can be the difference that makes the difference in so many areas in life. For example, a partner who seems to understand and one who doesn\u2019t, or a manager who just \u201cgets it\u201d or one who is missing the boat entirely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how to perfect your listening skills:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Eye contact<\/strong>. By looking the person in the eye you impart to them that you\u2019re paying attention, you care, and that you\u2019re listening. Don\u2019t stare at the person dead in the eyes as this can be seen as overly intense or intimidating, but rather, look slightly off center to the left or right eye.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Ask open-ended questions. <\/strong>This will show you\u2019re interested in what the person is saying and could possibly help the speaker to open up and share more information. That said, avoid questions that have a \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno\u201d response as that would dead end the conversation. For example, if someone is telling about an event they went to, instead of asking \u201cDid you like it?\u201d Say \u201cTell me about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Be empathetic<\/strong>. This is accomplished through many things you\u2019ll do. Some are verbal, others non-verbal. Identify what the other person\u2019s emotions are and connect with them. For instance, if a friend is telling you about a recent health scare and they\u2019re feeling anxious, you might say \u201cI understand how difficult it might make you feel to not know exactly what is going on yet.\u201d Also, providing words such as \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cI understand\u201d while they are speaking will help them to feel listened to. Non-verbal ways to build rapport and show you care would be to sit with an open stance as opposed to folded arms, and to nod reassuringly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Don\u2019t jump to a solution<\/strong>. If you do, then you might not be fully listening, because you\u2019re strategizing while they\u2019re talking. Sometimes what people want, and need, simply is someone to listen and not necessarily a solution. If they ask for your advice, then that\u2019s a different story and you can provide it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Avoid bringing yourself into the conversation<\/strong>. By saying things like \u201cthat\u2019s exactly what I went through\u201d you run the risk of alienating the person. Usually people, on an emotional level, don\u2019t have the same experiences, so by saying that you did you might end up showing a lack of sensitivity and might minimize their experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Make it all about them and put yourself in their shoes<\/strong>. Rather than thinking about a response, try to understand what they\u2019re going through at an emotional level. For example, if a friend tells you about losing a job, think about their situation and how it might impact them, not how you would feel if you were in their situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Don\u2019t interrogate or interrupt<\/strong>. Although these might seem like obvious things to avoid, people need to be reminded. So many of my clients, when talking about their spouses, say that they feel they are being cross-examined or that they aren\u2019t being listened to at all due to the frequent interruptions. Stay focused on the person in front of you. Let them talk. You can gently ask questions later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Originally published at Thrive Global<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being a more empathetic and active listener can help improve your communication skills and strengthen your relationships. By Jonathan Alpert, Psychotherapist, executive performance coach, and author of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4550,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[1358],"class_list":["post-4549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-listener"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n7 Ways To Become A Better Listener - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2021\/04\/25\/7-ways-to-become-a-better-listener\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"7 Ways To Become A Better Listener - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Being a more empathetic and active listener can help improve your communication skills and strengthen your relationships. 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