{"id":5013,"date":"2021-06-30T06:56:58","date_gmt":"2021-06-30T05:56:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=5013"},"modified":"2021-06-30T07:25:41","modified_gmt":"2021-06-30T06:25:41","slug":"always-the-victim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2021\/06\/30\/always-the-victim\/","title":{"rendered":"Always The Victim"},"content":{"rendered":"\n


A guide to people who live in their own soap opera.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n


By Carlin Flora<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Never afraid to be walking clich\u00e9s, cast members of reality TV shows regularly say, \u201cI don\u2019t want any drama!\u201d before hurling insults at their \u201cfriends\u201d or calling out perceived slights against them. Of course, they have a financial incentive to stir up trouble\u2014but what about the people in your life who are always in a conflict, a crisis, or a horribly unjust situation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It could be that they have a personality type called \u201cneed for drama,\u201d or NFD. A few years ago, Scott Frankowski, an assistant professor at Midwestern State University in Wichita Falls, Texas, and his colleagues developed and tested a scale to measure this quality. NFD has three components: \u201cinterpersonal manipulation,\u201d which is a tendency to control or \u201cmess with\u201d other people; \u201cimpulsive outspokenness,\u201d a habit of speaking out at inappropriate times; and \u201cpersistent perceived victimhood,\u201d a propensity for believing one is a victim in situations that others would dismiss as benign. Unsurprisingly, there is also a moderate-to-strong correlation between NFD and endorsing gossip, Frankowski says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While the description \u201cdrama queen\u201d is\u2014inherent to the expression\u2014associated with women, Frankowski\u2019s research showed that men are equally likely to have this penchant. He has more recently found, however, that when people are presented with descriptions of dramatic behaviors, they judge women who exhibit them as less fit for leadership positions than men who display the exact same characteristics. \u201cWomen are penalized for such tendencies much more than men are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Dark Side of NFD<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frankowski sees NFD as part of a constellation of personality constructs that includes the so-called Dark Triad, a character cocktail of narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. \u201cMost interesting,\u201d he says, \u201cis the strong relationship between Machiavellianism and the persistent perceived victimization factor of NFD. Those who always feel they are the victim also tend to use cold and calculating manipulation to achieve their goals. Playing the victim could be one way to do so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both these attributes and those of NFD are measured on a scale; despite similarities, many people who are high on the Dark Triad scale are undramatic, and many very dramatic people are certainly not sadistic or criminal. \u201cThe traits overlap largely on the impulsivity and manipulative facets of personality,\u201d Frankowski concludes. NFD could present problems in work settings since those high in it could bully others or engage in damaging office gossip. Some might share disinformation and conspiracy theories, as a research project completed by Frankowski\u2019s students found.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those who are highest on the NFD scale might also meet the clinical criteria for borderline or histrionic personality disorders, but that assessment could not be made from the NFD measure alone. Those are pathological conditions that can be diagnosed only by a clinician.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quitting Drama Club<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are drama fiends born or made? From a clinical perspective, \u201cusually traits like these would evolve in our family of origin,\u201d says Rachel Wiss, LMSW, a New York City\u2013based therapist. \u201cPeople may develop dysfunctional ways of behaving, such as creating drama in their lives, in an attempt to fill some emotional need that wasn\u2019t met during their childhood.\u201d
While creating havoc would seem to cause stress, Wiss says, it can feel comfortable and familiar to people who have learned that it\u2019s the way to be seen and heard\u2014even as it generates other problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although people with these attributes risk exasperating or exhausting their loved ones, there is hope that they may outgrow this behavior\u2014older people score lower on the measure than younger ones, Frankowski says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for those who want to curb their own NFD now, Wiss recommends group therapy, which \u201ccan help people understand these high-drama situations in a safe environment by slowing down the pace before the drama level gets too high. It\u2019s a chance to notice their own intentions when interacting with others. There\u2019s often a mismatch between the intention and what ends up getting communicated, which might leave those with a high need for drama feeling isolated and victimized.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wiss recalls a group therapy member who would often start sessions by declaring it would be his last time participating. He would insist that he was working harder than other group members and that he was wasting his time. While his announcement evoked fear and concern in some members at first, they began to show their irritation and anger when he continued to make this threat without acting on it. In time, he came to see that his behavior was counterproductive. Instead of reverting to his standard dramatic ploy, he learned to simply express that he was feeling left out\u2014which got everyone\u2019s attention in the right way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you a spectacle-seeker or a cool cucumber?<\/strong>
Find your NFD score by taking this test.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rate how much you agree with each statement on a scale from 1 to 7 (strongly disagree, disagree, somewhat disagree, neutral, somewhat agree, agree, strongly agree).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes it\u2019s fun to get people riled up.
Sometimes I say something bad about someone with the hope that they find out what I said.
I say or do things just to see how others react.
Sometimes I play people against each other to get what I want.
I wait before speaking my mind.
I always speak my mind but pay for it later.
It\u2019s hard for me to hold my opinion back.
People who act like my friends have stabbed me in the back.
People often talk about me behind my back.
I often wonder why such crazy things happen to me.
I feel like there are people in my life who are out to get me.
A lot of people have wronged me.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n


First, reverse-score the fifth question (count a 7 as a 1 and a 6 as a 2, for instance).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then add up all the numbers and divide by 12. The average NFD score is about 3.40, Frankowski says. If your average is 5, you have a higher NFD score than about 95 percent of the population.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Source: Scott Frankowski
Originally published at Psychology Today<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A guide to people who live in their own soap opera. By Carlin Flora Never afraid to be walking clich\u00e9s, cast members of reality TV shows regularly say, \u201cI don\u2019t want any drama!\u201d before hurling…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5014,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[1547,1546,1545],"class_list":["post-5013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-need-for-drama","tag-nfd","tag-victim"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nAlways The Victim - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2021\/06\/30\/always-the-victim\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Always The Victim - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A guide to people who live in their own soap opera. 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