A few unskillful reactions to life\u2019s inevitable challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By Toni Bernhard J.D.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not a day goes by without encountering some disappointment or frustration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A minor example: You just put the pen down and now can\u2019t find it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A less than minor example: Your computer crashes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A major example: Due to poor health, you can\u2019t travel to meet a new grandchild.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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The five hindrances<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m going to use a computer crashing as an example of the hindrances in action. Here are five ways you might respond to this unwelcome event.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s unlikely that worst-case scenarios come to pass. Maybe all your computer requires is a reboot (I speak from personal experience here). Unfortunately, you\u2019re so busy forecasting a future that\u2019s full of computer doom that it never occurs to you to try any number of simple solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The multiple hindrance attack<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s also not uncommon for more than one hindrance to arise in response to things not going your way. Buddhist teachers lightheartedly call this a \u201cmultiple hindrance attack.\u201d You may be downing that ice cream to avoid fixing your computer and be angry at yourself and be worrying about what\u2019s going to happen with it and be doubting your ability to solve any problem in life. And there you have it\u2014four of the five hindrances working together, making you more and more miserable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Responding skillfully to the hindrances<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The third step is to treat yourself kindly by acknowledging that these reactions don\u2019t feel good. When life isn\u2019t conforming to your desires, what is called for is self-compassion, not blame. Cultivating self-compassion tells you that you care about your suffering, and this calms your mind so you can see more clearly what steps you might take to make things better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not a day goes by without our experiencing some frustration over not getting our way. I call this want\/don\u2019t want mind. I want to find that pen I just put down; I don\u2019t want my computer to crash. The fact is\u2026 life doesn\u2019t always go the way we want it to. When this happens, it helps to recognize which of these five unskillful reactions have arisen and then to counter them with mindfulness and self-compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A few unskillful reactions to life\u2019s inevitable challenges. By Toni Bernhard J.D. Not a day goes by without encountering some disappointment or frustration. A minor example: You just put the pen down and now can\u2019t…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5661,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[450,909,1846],"class_list":["post-5660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-habits","tag-life","tag-mind"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n
In Buddhist philosophy, there are five unskillful reactions to life\u2019s challenges. They\u2019re called hindrances because they hinder your ability to see clearly how to act so as not to make things worse for yourself or others. Whenever you\u2019re feeling stressed and uneasy, it\u2019s usually because you\u2019re caught in the web of one or more of these hindrances. They often become habits of mind, meaning that each time you react in one of these five ways, the hindrance gets stronger and you\u2019re more likely to react that way in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This hindrance refers to any sensual pleasure you engage in under the mistaken belief it will make you happy by allowing you to forget your difficulties. And so, you avoid your computer problem by turning to something pleasurable, such as eating ice cream or putting on re-runs of your favorite TV show. There\u2019s absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying yourself in these ways. They only become a problem when this behavior results in avoiding something that needs attending to, in this case, your computer.<\/li>
Anger arises when you believe that people or things should be other than they are. You feel as if the world is treating you unfairly because your computer should not be giving you trouble. But computers do at times, no matter what your IQ. Anger ranges from mild irritation to becoming so enraged that you throw your computer at the wall, thereby assuring that it will stay \u201ccrashed.\u201d<\/li>
This hindrance is often referred to as torpor or lethargy. You tell yourself that it\u2019s too much effort to deal with a computer that\u2019s not working. This hindrance is another way of avoiding what you know you need to do. And so, you say to yourself, \u201cForget it; I\u2019m just going back to bed.\u201d Unfortunately, when you get up, your computer will still be \u201casleep.\u201d<\/li>
This hindrance includes the tendency to spin worst-case scenarios, even though you don\u2019t have the facts to back any of them up: \u201cMy computer is unfixable\u201d; \u201cI\u2019ll never recover my data\u201d; \u201cMy partner will call me incompetent because my computer crashed.\u201d<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
This hindrance shows up as a lack of confidence in your ability to solve life\u2019s challenges. You feel as if you\u2019re not competent to deal with any computer issue. You blame yourself for it having crashed in the first place. This type of thinking keeps you from focusing on how you might fix your computer, something everyone has to do once in a while.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
You may have recognized your own reactive tendencies in one or more of these five hindrances. People tend to \u201cspecialize\u201d in one, depending on the habits they\u2019ve formed over their lifetimes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The first step in changing these habitual responses to things not going your way is to become aware that they\u2019ve arisen. This is a mindfulness practice. For me, it helps to keep a list of the five hindrances in mind. Identifying which hindrance has arisen helps because it keeps it from intensifying. In fact, bringing it into conscious awareness may dissipate it altogether because, for example, you\u2019ll see that neither anger nor worrying will get that computer fixed.
The second step is to dis-identify from the hindrance. By this I mean, you can lessen its hold over you by seeing it as a temporary visitor in your mind (although an unwelcome one), as opposed to as a permanent resident. Remind yourself that these are simply mental states that come and go as reactions to not getting your way. For example, try reframing what you\u2019re feeling in this way: \u201cMy computer crashed and I\u2019m angry and I\u2019m worrying, but these reactions won\u2019t help me fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Originally published at Psychology Today<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"