{"id":6416,"date":"2022-01-25T00:53:36","date_gmt":"2022-01-24T23:53:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=6416"},"modified":"2022-01-25T00:53:39","modified_gmt":"2022-01-24T23:53:39","slug":"how-a-man-becomes-a-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/25\/how-a-man-becomes-a-father\/","title":{"rendered":"How A Man Becomes A Father"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Responsibility, trigger moments, and transitions.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

By Grant Hilary Brenner MD, DFAPA<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lagarto and Duaso, authors of a recent study in the Infant Mental Health Journal (2021), highlight the need for greater understanding of emerging fatherhood. Perhaps understandably, the majority of early infant attachment has focused on the relationship between mother and child. Less emphasis is placed on the father-child bond, which shapes development across the lifespan and is established early on, even before birth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The importance of fathers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Qualitative studies have looked at dads\u2019 experience following delivery, noting that fathers who are supportive of mothers have a stronger bond with baby; that paternal involvement eases the difficulty of labor and delivery, and is associated with easier breastfeeding and lower rates of maternal depression; and that paternal involvement in the family improves their own self-esteem and mental well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the flip side, when fathers are more removed, the marital relationship suffers, and some fathers, under the strain of sudden responsibility, experience problematic anxiety and insecurity. Some studies show that mothers and fathers bond equally strongly to their babies, others suggest paternal attachment may be weaker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Interviewing expectant fathers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pregnancy is a challenging time for fathers as well as mothers, destabilizing the status quo and requiring adaptation of one\u2019s identity and lifestyle. In order to open a window into the world of expectant fathers, Lagarto and Duaso conducted an in-depth, qualitative study of 10 first-time fathers, ages 29 to 40, interviewed during the third trimester.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The qualitative study method, rather than using standardized rating scales and experimental manipulations, involves detailed interviews of research subjects. In this study, participants were interviewed in-person for 30-60 minutes, answering questions such as \u201cHow do you see your role in the pregnancy?\u201d, \u201cHow do you think you will feel when you see the baby for the first time?\u201d, \u201cHow have you been getting ready for this baby?\u201d and \u201cDo you usually think about the baby?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Researchers analyzed the transcripts to code recurring elements, identifying patterns across the narratives to distill out four overarching themes. While the number of participants is small, qualitative pilot studies provide useful insights for reflection and investigation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Trigger moment<\/strong>. The majority of fathers (70 percent) reported a particular moment when the reality of the future baby suddenly hit them. For some, it was the first fetal scan. For others, it was when the baby\u2019s name was chosen; for others still, seeing changes in their partners\u2019 bodies or being able to feel the baby move. Regardless, the idea of the baby became less and less abstract until the tipping point at which it became \u201creal\u201d, stimulating more powerful attachment to the unborn child and overwhelming any sense of denial or disbelief. Two of the fathers who did not report a trigger moment described higher levels of anxiety and depression, which could interfere with attachment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Awareness of responsibility<\/strong>. Once the reality of the baby set in, expectant fathers reported a heightened sense of personal accountability. They felt increased responsibility, and a mix of feelings, for the future baby, for the mother, for the family and in various other ways related to fully taking on the role of father and partner. For example, they thought more about taking on a greater role in managing delivery, in postnatal healthcare, in setting up the home (\u201cnesting behavior\u201d), and in securing finances. In the face of both excitement and anxiety, fathers reported seeking support both from parenting classes and from their families and social circles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Transition to fatherhood<\/strong>. The moment of birth itself was especially crucial for fathers interviewed, as the first opportunity to really connect\u2014as contrasted with the sometimes-envied intimate maternal connection with the infant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men transform into fathers, seemingly in a heartbeat, when the baby “comes into the world”. Mothers hold the infant in mind, and in body, very differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Contemplating fatherhood, participants thought about what it meant to be a father, how to be a good father, what their own fathers were like with them, and, among other things, what had worked for them and what they might want to do differently. Participants reported they thought about how work and generational differences could impact caregiving, changing notions of masculinity and fatherhood, the impact of cultural influences (for instance, social media) on children. In general, they increasingly engaged in envisioning their child\u2019s future as a reality under their purview.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Emotional conflict<\/strong>. Largely normal tension among different emotional states led many participants to report a sense of inner tumult. Excitement and happy anticipation was counterbalanced by the presence of anxiety and sometimes guilt, depending on how secure and well-prepared participants felt for both the realities of parenthood as well as in navigating their own life- and identity-changing event. How expectant fathers attached to the imagined baby was influenced by the balance between positive expectation, fear, and emotional style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fathers who coped by emotionally distancing reported hesitation to become too attached, particularly if there were medical problems during the pregnancy or difficulty during past pregnancies, including traumatic losses. Distant fathers reported feelings such as guilt over not following perceived social norms to be more engaged, feeling pressure that could be \u201cquite damaging\u201d. Overall, despite emotional conflict, fathers reported satisfaction and increasing attachment through the quickening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The future of fatherhood<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From the trigger moment when it \u201cgets real\u201d for expectant fathers to the mushrooming sense of responsibility, to imagining fatherhood across the lifespan and taking on the role of father, to the complex undercurrent of roiling emotions and meaning during pregnancy\u2014which seems both very long and all-too fleeting\u2014fathers just as much as mothers undergo a series of major transitions along the path to parenthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Identifying factors that enhance or interfere with father-child attachment are especially important. Mental health challenges including excessive anxiety, depression (including postpartum) and the influence of past trauma may undermine attachment via emotional distance, avoidant coping, and withdrawal. Detachment also interferes with the parents\u2019 relationship, especially in the critical window following the birth of the child, when establishing an adaptive, connected family system is so important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Improving one\u2019s capacity to cope with anxiety and insecurity, cultivating greater awareness of one\u2019s personality and relationship style, including the impact of one\u2019s own upbringing, knowing when help is needed and reaching out, and addressing any mental or general health needs likely help expectant fathers transition successfully. These measures can be pursued by individuals and couples, included into antenatal education (e.g. parenting classes), into tracking paternal postpartum depression and anxiety, and generally giving greater attention to how we think about fatherhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grasping what men experience during the critical third trimester, when the reality of fatherhood becomes more and more tangible, is useful for prospective fathers and their partners, for healthcare providers to better support the whole family through a profound and transformative experience, and to move us along societally in embracing the importance fatherhood and attachment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Originally published at Psychology Today<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Responsibility, trigger moments, and transitions. By Grant Hilary Brenner MD, DFAPA Lagarto and Duaso, authors of a recent study in the Infant Mental Health Journal (2021), highlight the need for greater understanding of emerging fatherhood….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6417,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[1594],"class_list":["post-6416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-father"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow A Man Becomes A Father - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/25\/how-a-man-becomes-a-father\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How A Man Becomes A Father - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Responsibility, trigger moments, and transitions. 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