{"id":6905,"date":"2022-04-15T00:11:46","date_gmt":"2022-04-14T23:11:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=6905"},"modified":"2022-04-15T00:48:27","modified_gmt":"2022-04-14T23:48:27","slug":"8-signs-you-might-have-a-problem-with-boundaries","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/15\/8-signs-you-might-have-a-problem-with-boundaries\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Signs You Might Have A Problem With Boundaries"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>\u2026 and what to do about it.<br>By Whitney Casares M.D., MPH<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Hi. My name is Dr. Whitney, and I\u2019m a recovering People Pleaser.<br>(Hi, Dr. Whitney.)<br>When I was younger, I was a \u201cgood kid.\u201d I never really got in trouble. All my teachers loved me. I answered questions when I was supposed to (always with a raised hand) and was quiet when I knew that\u2019s what they wanted.<br>I was that kid in class.<br>But it didn\u2019t just stop after elementary school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Early in dating, I never wanted to fight with my husband Scott because I didn\u2019t want him mad at me. I, as a full-grown woman, still gave in to my mom\u2019s requests that I knew would turn my day upside down. I said yes to all the things at work so that no one would have an excuse to say anything negative about me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>Through (a good amount of) therapy, I\u2019ve learned I was doing those things not just because I was a nice person who wanted to do nice things for other people (I really wish that was the reason.) What it really boiled down to was the fact that I had a hard time setting and keeping boundaries with other people. I tried so hard to avoid conflict with other people because I was convinced their feelings and comfort were more important than mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>So this one is for all the women who\u2019ve said yes to a request at work when they knew it was going to wreak havoc on their family. Who\u2019ve stayed silent in meetings because they didn\u2019t want to rock the boat. Who\u2019ve not said anything to the in-laws about the amount of sugar they hand out at their house, even though their kids will be tantruming for hours on the way home as they hit that sugar crash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br>8 signs you may have a problem setting and keeping boundaries:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>You absolutely hate it when you let other people down. This means that you often go along with other people\u2019s plans and say yes to things you wouldn\u2019t usually choose to do, and possibly don\u2019t want to do. Joining extra committees, agreeing to restaurants where you know you won\u2019t be able to find anything for your kid\u2019s health restrictions on the menu, choosing to go along with a haphazard schedule at work in order to accommodate your boss\u2019 new whim.<\/li><li>You feel like how other people feel is up to you. You worry whether they\u2019re having a good time and are feeling good. You go out of your way to make sure this is the case. This means you feel guilty and anxious pretty regularly. You can never feel settled because there\u2019s always going to be a person who is upset or a fire to put out. And you have to be the one to do it.<\/li><li>You are constantly tired and don\u2019t even know why. And every mama said, \u201cAmen!\u201d While it\u2019s different than \u201cmom-tired,\u201d it\u2019s incredibly common. It happens as you\u2019re giving all your energy away by constantly tending to everyone else\u2019s needs and putting your own on the backburner.<\/li><li>It\u2019s easy for other people to take advantage of you. You\u2019re pretty sure that\u2019s not what you agreed to, but you\u2019d rather not say anything. And they know you won\u2019t either. You may even wonder if you\u2019re being manipulated by those who are closest to you.<\/li><li>You are annoyed\u2026all the time. On the regular, you\u2019re never really doing the things you want to do and are usually going along with others. Which leads to resentment of others and their choices. It may also be because\u2026<\/li><li>In your heart of hearts, you think no one respects you. This is probably because you\u2019ve been pushed over too many times, so they don\u2019t think they need to.<\/li><li>It\u2019s hard for you to make decisions based on what you want because you\u2019re always thinking about what everyone else wants. When you actually have to decide for yourself, it\u2019s exhausting. It can also make this a reality\u2026<\/li><li>You\u2019re less than sure about who you are, what you like, or what matters to you. It can feel like you are having an identity crisis. What do you like or dislike? What does it even feel like to make a decision based on what you want to do rather than what you think others want you to do?<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Originally published at Psychology Today<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u2026 and what to do about it.By Whitney Casares M.D., MPH Hi. My name is Dr. Whitney, and I\u2019m a recovering People Pleaser.(Hi, Dr. Whitney.)When I was younger, I was a \u201cgood kid.\u201d I never&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6909,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[915],"class_list":["post-6905","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-boundaries"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>8 Signs You Might Have A Problem With Boundaries - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/15\/8-signs-you-might-have-a-problem-with-boundaries\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"8 Signs You Might Have A Problem With Boundaries - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u2026 and what to do about it.By Whitney Casares M.D., MPH Hi. 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