{"id":8338,"date":"2023-08-21T13:57:38","date_gmt":"2023-08-21T12:57:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/?p=8338"},"modified":"2023-08-21T13:57:39","modified_gmt":"2023-08-21T12:57:39","slug":"9-keys-to-healing-from-adverse-childhood-experiences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2023\/08\/21\/9-keys-to-healing-from-adverse-childhood-experiences\/","title":{"rendered":"9 Keys To Healing From Adverse Childhood Experiences"},"content":{"rendered":"\n


9 attitudes that will help you cultivate a strong mindset.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n


By Glenn R. Schiraldi Ph.D.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exciting advances in trauma treatment have led to many new self- and professionally-managed strategies that offset the harmful long-term consequences of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). However, in studying resilient survivors of serious adversities, we find that certain key attitudes are foundational to healing. These attitudes are essential complements to the newly developed strategies. This article explores the key healing attitudes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Key Healing Attitudes<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Determined Optimism<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Resilient healers choose the attitude that \u201cI will not be defeated by the past. I will keep my dreams alive. No matter how difficult the day, I will continue to find something to enjoy.\u201d We think of the Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl who stood in awe at the breathtaking beauty of the sunset, which he viewed through the barbed wire, while standing in formation in the freezing cold of the WWII concentration camp. Determined optimism says, \u201cIf I continue to do my part, things will likely improve; if I keep searching, I\u2019ll undoubtedly find ways to build a better, more enjoyable life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Relaxed Control<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      It feels great to know that our lives are in control: physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually, and temporally. An optimistic attitude impels us to take constructive actions in these areas and to enjoy the resulting sense of control. However, life is uneven. There will most certainly be circumstances that we simply can\u2019t control. When this happens, relaxed control says, \u201cI will roll with the punches: I\u2019ll accept what is beyond my control to change or fix right now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      1. Negativity Resistance<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

        Resilient survivors compassionately acknowledge their own pain and suffering. They are comfortable with, and accepting of, all emotions. However, they resolutely fight off depressing negativity. They might think, \u201cI simply refuse to go to that dark place. I won\u2019t allow myself to indulge unkind, negative thoughts, even for one moment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        1. Inner, Unshakable Worth<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

          Resilient healers continually remember that nothing\u2014not the way they were treated in childhood nor recently, not chemical imbalance, not financial challenges\u2014alters their fundamental worth and potential as a person. During difficult times, they might remind themselves, \u201cI\u2019m still a worthwhile person; I choose to love and respect myself: I\u2019m in the process of learning and growing, just like everyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

          1. The Long View of Suffering<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

            Ben Franklin taught, \u201cThat which hurts instructs.\u201d Suffering is not all bad. It can help us to realize, and take pride in knowing, that we can survive very difficult circumstances. Hard times can lead us to have compassion for ourselves and empathy for those who are similarly suffering. All experience can be profitable. For example, one survivor of brutal mistreatment in childhood vowed that he would avoid his parents’ mistakes and become a loving father. Against all odds, he did. Though most resilient survivors say that they would not choose the suffering they endured, they also would not trade the lessons gained from their suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            1. Love Replaces Anger<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

              Anger toward offenders can be crippling. Anger toward self for weakness can be crushing. Resilient healers find a way to let go of anger and resentment; to look kindly toward self and others for their shortcomings. Paradoxically, kindness much more effectively promotes healing and growth than seething anger and harsh criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

              1. Meaning and Purpose<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                One woman, sold into sex slavery as a child, determined that she would make her experience count for something. She became an articulate voice for protecting children from sex trafficking. As Frankl taught, each of us, in our own unique way, must find meaning and purpose for our lives in order to overcome difficult times. We can do that by finding ways to improve the world, to grow personally, and to enjoy wholesome pleasures. Instead of passively waiting for love or satisfaction, we can think, \u201cWhat can I offer? What can I contribute? How can I lift others?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                1. Sense of Humor<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                  Humor is the ability to amuse or be amused; to be playful; to find the comical in any situation. We can laugh at the ridiculous things we all do sometimes. We can notice the absurd, the ludicrous, the incongruities of life and people. To laugh at ourselves kindly is to think, \u201cI\u2019m more than my imperfections and weaknesses.\u201d Laughing along with others says, \u201cWe\u2019re in this together; we\u2019re not alone; it\u2019ll be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                  1. Compassion<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

                    Compassion is sorrow for a person\u2019s suffering coupled with a desire to relieve that suffering. Compassion is sometimes called lovingkindness, gentle friendliness, or mature love. Compassion brings soothing, healing kindness to each moment of life. We can feel compassion, rather than condemnation, toward offenders, who suffer for their weakness. We can feel compassion, rather than harsh judgments, towards ourselves, who haven\u2019t yet learned all that life has to teach us. Compassion toward self and others can indeed soften our battles in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                    Conclusion<\/strong>
                    The healing attitudes are chosen. They help us heal and live a happier, more satisfying life. It is liberating to realize that they are within everyone\u2019s reach. But they don\u2019t fall in our lap without effort. Like a beautiful plant, they are patiently, relentlessly cultivated. Looking back, the effort will seem enormously worthwhile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                    References<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                    Schiraldi, G. R. (2021). The Adverse Childhood Experiences Recovery Workbook: Heal the Hidden Wounds from Childhood Affecting Your Adult Mental and Physical Health. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                    Frankl, V. (1963). Man\u2019s Search for Meaning. New York: Pocket Books.
                    Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., has served on the stress management faculties at The Pentagon, the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, and the University of Maryland. His recent book is The Adverse Childhood Experiences Recovery Workbook.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                    Originally pub<\/em>lished at Psychology Today<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                    9 attitudes that will help you cultivate a strong mindset. By Glenn R. Schiraldi Ph.D. Exciting advances in trauma treatment have led to many new self- and professionally-managed strategies that offset the harmful long-term consequences…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[1044,2400,388],"class_list":["post-8338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","tag-childhood","tag-healing","tag-mental-health"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n9 Keys To Healing From Adverse Childhood Experiences - Towncryyers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/towncryyers.com\/index.php\/2023\/08\/21\/9-keys-to-healing-from-adverse-childhood-experiences\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"9 Keys To Healing From Adverse Childhood Experiences - Towncryyers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"9 attitudes that will help you cultivate a strong mindset. 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