By Geoff Hughes

Have you ever realized that your life is nothing more than a culmination of your habits?

The people that you admire and are highly successful simply have the habits of success. People who are broke and struggling have habits that led them there.

But most people make two significant errors when trying to change habits. The first error is that we try to use willpower to quit a habit altogether.

For example, most people who try to quit smoking use as much willpower as they can to stop instead of replacing the habit. Until they have a terrible day at work, and they get an urge for a cigarette and the feeling they get from inhaling.

This urge leads to problem number two. Most people don’t understand how habits work. We tend to personalize practices by saying things like “I’m just a weak person” or “I’ll always be a smoker.”

If this sounds like you, please know that you can change any habit that you don’t like in your life. But you need to do it correctly because willpower doesn’t last. Keep reading to learn how to change a habit once and for all.

HOW TO CHANGE A HABIT

Before you get worried that your habits will continue to control your life and sabotage your success, know that you can change any of your behaviors. Step one is understanding that you do have the ability to change any pattern that you don’t like or is no longer serving you. Finding success comes down to understanding the process and staying consistent. Here’s how you can do it now.

STEP 1: FIGURE OUT YOUR BAD HABITS

The first step is to figure out the habits that you consider bad. Maybe you already know what they are or perhaps you need some time to think about them. A few everyday habits include:

Overeating

Smoking cigarettes

Watching too much TV

Checking your phone too often

Playing too many video games

Spending too much time on social media

Again, these are just a few habits that kill dreams for most people. The goal is to identify the top three patterns that you want to change.

Check out the habits of highly successful people here.

STEP 2: REPLACE YOUR BAD HABITS

Here’s the thing, you don’t want to try to stop bad habits. Instead, you need to replace one pattern with another. Your current behaviors, good and bad, are in your life for a reason.

Your bad habits have benefited you in some way(ex. Smoking cigarettes). Sometimes the reward is emotional, while other times, it’s biological like smoking. 

Instead of quitting cold turkey and trying to use willpower (which won’t last long), try to find a way to replace the bad habit and experience a similar benefit. For example, if you smoke cigarettes when you get stressed out after work, seek to find a new way to relieve your stress other than smoking. Don’t just eliminate the stress-relieving activity. For example, after work, go straight to the gym to get rid of any anger or frustration until it becomes habitual.

All of our behaviors address specific needs. So it’s up to you to replace patterns that aren’t serving you with healthier ones that address the same need.

Remember, willpower doesn’t last!

STEP 3: REMOVE TRIGGERS

One thing that I’ll discuss in the coming weeks is the importance of your environment and the cues it has on your mind and body. For example, some rooms in your house might make you want to watch TV while others might make you want to read a book.

If the first thing you do when you sit on the couch is pick up the TV remote to watch Netflix mindlessly, then hide the remote in a drawer. You want to make it easier for yourself to break bad habits by avoiding the things that cause them.

Another example is smoking. Maybe you’re the type of person that doesn’t smoke daily, but after a few alcoholic drinks, you get the urge to smoke. If this happens, quit drinking.

Or, if you want to stop eating a particular food (like candy or carbs), don’t keep me in the house! Your environment makes your bad habits easier, and healthful practices harder. Change your environment and change your life.

STEP 4: GET HELP

Sometimes you can’t do it all alone. There is no shame in getting help when replacing unhealthy habits with better ones. Whether it’s getting a workout buddy, going to meetings, or something else, find people to hold you accountable.

Surround yourself with people who want to live as you do. Ditch the people and places in your life that are no longer serving you.

STEP 5: REPEAT THE NEW HABIT FOR 21 – 100 DAYS

The final step to changing bad habits, stay consistent! Change isn’t going to happen overnight.

So how long does it take to change a habit?

Most people think of 21 days as it’s been a widespread message for years in the personal development world.

Unfortunately, a lot of self-help “gurus’ are peddling the story that it only takes 21 days to replace your habits. But that’s just not true; some habits take two to three times as long.

A study from 2009 found that it takes up to 254 days for a person to create a new habit.

And often, it requires 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic.

The 21-day myth came from Dr. Maxwell Maltz, who wrote the best-selling book, Psycho-Cybernetics (which has sold 30 million copies worldwide). 

When Dr. Maltz would operate on a patient, he found that it took them 21 days to get used to the results. He based this on cosmetic procedures and major surgeries like amputations. And after doing a test in his own life, Dr. Maltz found that new behaviors took about the same length of time for him as well.

As Maxwell said in the book, “These, and many other commonly observed phenomena tend to show that it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.”

His work has influenced some of the biggest names in the personal development space from Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy and more. But somewhere along the line, about 21 days got changed to “21 days to change a habit.”

So remember, when changing your habits, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days, depending on the habit itself.

BONUS STEPS TO CHANGE HABITS

CHANGE ONE HABIT AT A TIME

Looking back, step one is all about identifying the habits that are holding you back from success. The goal here is to pick the biggest or worst habit and start there. One of the worst things you can do is try to tackle three or more habits all at once.

Taking on too much at once will likely lead to disappointment and quitting entirely. Instead, choose one habit, stay consistent, and once it becomes automatic, move on to the next habit that you want to replace.

TRACK YOUR HABITS

Another way to increase the odds of replacing your bad habits is to use a habit tracker.

A habit tracker is a powerful tool that allows you to quantify your behaviors and track how consistent you are in starting new habits.

Habit trackers can take many forms, such as a simple pen-and-paper checklist, a journal (a good one is the “Bullet Journal,” an app on your phone, or a wall calendar. Each time you complete your new habit, log the habit or write it down. The visual representation can help you stay consistent and keep going as you won’t want to break your streak.

Tracking your behaviors is a great way to manage them and give yourself a shot at changing them for the better. Start tracking with a method that is convenient and motivating for you!

START HABIT STACKING

While the steps above are highly effective in training new habits, a newer trend that has become more popular is known as habit stacking. One of the best ways to create a new behavior is to identify a current behavior you already do every day and then stack your new habit on top of it.

Rather than pairing a new habit with a particular time and location, you pair it with a current habit to increase your chances of success.

The habit stacking formula is: After/Before (Insert Current Habit), I will (Insert New Habit).

Here are a few examples to better understand habit stacking:

After I pour a cup of coffee, I read for 10 minutes.

After I brush my teeth, I write in my journal for five minutes.

After I take off my work clothes, I immediately change into my workout clothes.

After I sit down to eat dinner, I express gratitude out loud or text someone.

Before I get into bed at night, I will tell my partner how much I love them.

Habit stacking works so well because it works with your current brain patterns. Your behaviors have become so automatic that you don’t have to think about them! So, when you link a pattern you want to create with an existing habit, it makes it easier to be successful.

Once you start to master this basic structure, you can begin to create larger stacks by chaining several small habits together as well. Through this, you take advantage of the natural momentum that comes from one behavior leading into the next.

Here’s an example of how habit stacking could work for your morning routine:

After I brush my teeth, I write in a journal for five minutes.

After I write in my journal for five minutes, I meditate for three minutes.

After I meditate for three minutes, then I write out intentions for the day.

After I write out my intentions for the day, then I go to the gym for daily exercise.

Habit stacking can also work great in the evenings. Check out this example of stacking habits after eating dinner.

After I finish eating dinner, I brain dump in a journal what happened today for five minutes.

After I write in a journal for five minutes, I will plan my day tomorrow for five minutes. 

After I plan the next day, I will prepare for tomorrow by laying out gym clothes and meal prepping my food.

BONUS STEPS: BEST CHANGING HABITS BOOK

So what is the best book to help you learn how to change a bad habit? There’s quite a few out there but here are some of my top picks:

ATOMIC HABITS BY JAMES CLEAR

This New York Times best-seller is a recent book that will give you a more in-depth look at a proven framework for improving every day. James delivers a simple, easy to follow system to help you create remarkable results.

BREAKING THE HABIT OF BEING YOURSELF BY JOE DISPENZA

Joe Dispenza is a thought leader when it comes to quantum physics, brain chemistry, and biology. Not only is an expert, speaker, researcher, and author, but he’s also used all of his knowledge to change his own life. At one point, Joe was in a near-tragic accident but used the power of the mind to heal himself from the inside out.

THE POWER OF HABIT BY CHARLES DUHIGG

The Power of Habit is another NYT best-seller that mixes science with real-world applications to help you create lasting habits for success. Charles Duhigg explains how we form habits, how to keep the good ones, and how to replace the bad ones with ease.

30 DAYS – CHANGE YOUR HABITS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE BY MARC REKLAU

This short ebook can help you create the life you want by giving simple steps to develop new habits. Not only does it inform you how to change habits, but it also gives you exercises to transform your life.

MINI HABITS BY STEPHEN GUISE

Sometimes mini-habits can help you create massive change. Mini habits are a very small, positive behavior that you force yourself to do every day.

Essentially, a mini habit is “too small to fail,” which makes it feel easy, yet deceptively powerful, and a superior habit-building strategy.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Hopefully, now you can see that habits require a little more attention than you might have thought. Remember, habits are nothing more than behaviors you do over and over again until your mind thinks you need them for your survival. Don’t forget, the number one priority of your mind is to help you survive above all else.

When you want to change a habit, start with choosing the biggest one that you want to replace. Don’t try to change two or more habits at once; otherwise, you are likely setting yourself up for failure. Instead, pick one new habit and see it through until it becomes automatic.

Don’t forget, habits can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to replace. So if it feels like it’s taking a while to replace it, just remember to have patience.

Use the steps provided and one of the books to learn more about habits so you can begin to replace the ones holding you back. Remember, life is nothing more than the habits you live every single day.

Originally published in GeoffHughes.com