When Toke Makinwa announced the acquisition of a mansion weeks ago with her usual moniker that women should strive to be financially independent, she was joining the list of young women in the entertainment industry who have lately been proud owners of buildings in Lagos and other choice places in Nigeria. When in 2019 relationship blogger Blessing Okoro lied to Nigerians that she is the proud owner of a brand-new mansion, many of her followers liked, retweeted, and shared her accomplishments until she was arrested by the real owner of the house. Though the controversy surrounding Toke Makinwa’s claim is still unsettled, she has however said “You know this independent woman thing when you are trying to act like a boss ‘I gat my own thing.’ am not doing anymore. You people take it. I just want to relax and be taken care of. I just want somebody that will say can I just help you,”. I do not know if to praise or castigate this statement. But life is a collaboration that works amazingly well with true connections. These connections can be a friend, a spouse, an organization, or even a nation. America has been attracting the best brains in the world for decades because of the environment created by their leaders that encourages entrepreneurship and daring lucrative enterprises even by young women like Rihanna.

Feminist activism is gaining popularity among young women like never. The irony is that the cheerleaders are often individuals that are either from broken homes or from a bitter past relationship who have no business whatsoever counseling others about relationships or marriage. The sad case of Blessing Okoro who has thousands of online followers digesting her advice and using her strategies in their daily lives is a widespread phenomenon in the blogosphere. One of the most celebrated blogging personalities in Nigeria, Linda Ikeji, is a happenstance worth studying. Her pregnancy and subsequent childbirth for a man who didn’t want her as a wife and did everything to distance himself even after images of the very good looking son continue to trend was a shock to many of her followers who thought she would never ply such a path because of her past utterances. Women should know that their sexuality is their least source of power. Their most effectual power comes from the fact that they are better multitaskers than men and can achieve more with fewer resources than men. This truth can be seen in how our mothers combine career, motherhood, wifehood, and siblinghood excellently with very impressive results that put many men to shame.

We live in a social media age where showing off is the norm. Often the energy people put into appearing successful is more than the energy they put into being successful. Truly accomplished and successful female role models like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Amina J. Mohammed, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, and the older generation like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala do not come to the media or grant interviews where they self promote themselves with falsehoods. They alternatively allow their good works to speak. The desire to appear larger than life or more than our true self is born out of inferiority. You will not find Oprah or semi-billionaire Rihanna or Serena showing off their wealth. They rather setup causes that add value to society. If you have been using falsehood to promote yourself, often you are not deceiving many. Your likers on social media are just waiting for your lies to find you out before they dispose of you like a used disposable. Do not let it get to that stage. Start a real venture. Do not get transactional favors from your men or women friends and claim it’s the lord’s doing. There is dignity, happiness, and deep satisfaction in legitimate labor or enterprise that is always within our reach that your children can build on like Okonjo-Iweala’s children.

Ata Ukuta, Editor – www.towncryyers.com