By Blessing Umukoro

Friendships existing between two opposite sex without any intention of sexual relationships are very rare and special. It is not easily found, so it should be appreciated, for it focuses on the well being of both friends. Platonic relationships are greatly beneficial but if the relationship is not defined, assumptions are inevitable, which brings emotional breakdown to many. This piece focuses on the truths platonic friends silently and secretly suffer because their relationship lacked definition, guidelines, or maybe the friends or friendship have both lost focus along the way.

Definition

A platonic relationship is a special, emotional, and spiritual relationship between two people who love and admire one another because of common interests, a spiritual connection, and similar world views. It does not involve any type of sexual involvement.

Characteristics

• Selfless – Actions are prompted by true love, not because of any personal gain.

• Honesty – It allows for been true to each other.

• Fewer expectations – No expectations of commitment from the other friend

• Boundaries – To set orderliness in the relationship, things are not done just like that.

• Not time-bound – The relationship can be terminated easily. It’s not legally binding.

Benefits

• It has a lot of benefits, for the whole being. It provides;

• Someone to trust and be free to discuss all experience with.

• Someone to have, in face of challenges, and willing to be supportive.

• Someone to learn more about the opposite gender without fear of criticism.

• Someone you don’t need to act for, you are accepted just the way you are.

• You are free from the complications that are associated with romantic relationships.

• This brings the feeling of love that decreases health risks, a sense of wellness, and stress-free living.

• Allow one with romantic relationships to experience unconditional love.

Risks

• Expecting more – It is really just being human, as we all usually want more.

• Become romantic – Can transform into a sexual relationship that has a damaging effect on the platonic relationship if both are not prepared for a sexual relationship.

• The one common attribute among women is that they are born to bond, to nurture, to listen, and to empathize. So it not out of place to expect more.

Signs That Is Gone Too Far

• Flirt excessively

• Always wanting more

• Keep longing for each other

• Don’t want to see the opposite sex around your friend

• You fantasize about sex and discuss it

• You talk to others too much about your friend

• There is too much attachment

• Boundaries are not respected anymore

• Confuse romantic love with friendship

• Having issues with your friend when the attention is not total

When the above is seen in any relationship, it is necessary to take a step back and discuss feelings properly. Don’t beat yourself too hard, because you are only human, with emotional needs to be met. But you must work hard to keep it in check to save you the stress of disappointment.

Remedies

Be clear on what is obtainable in the relationship

Recognize possible tensions ahead

Discuss feelings and take actions to save the relationship

Discuss the benefits of not being in a romantic relationship

Refrain from touching

Set boundaries

Refrain from sexual conversation

Be careful of words and action when together

Be realistic

Be mindful of meeting venues

Don’t send a wrong signal to the other person.

So many got involved with platonic relationships expecting more than friendship, it has earned many motional injuries and disappointments. The worse part is that platonic relationships have kept some in “Canopy relationship” where everyone thinks that both of you are dating but there is nothing romantic in the relationship. So many have lost the opportunity of settling down because they never defined their platonic relationships and have lost potential life partners. Sometimes both find romantic love in platonic friendship but lack of courage to speak up killed all possibilities of making it to a legally defined relationship.

When in a platonic relationship, be ready to work with courage. Be prepared for what it will take. Don’t get too attached. Don’t keep all hopes high. Be willing to let go. Don’t be carried away. Be bold to say how you feel always at all times and enjoy all its benefit while it lasts.