A few days ago Bill Gates lost his father at 94 years of age. The news of his father’s death made me to do some research on his father. I discovered that Bill Gates grew up in a loving and financially stable home. Juxtaposing  what I read about the home that Bill Gates and other tech greats like Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk grew up in, you can come to an unscientific conclusion that a good home or family life increases ones chances of creating humongous and sustainable wealth. In Nigeria, from Aliko Dangote to Femi Otedola we can also see the role our family background play in our perception of the world and our strategy on how to maximize available resources. The cliché that the rich keeps getting richer is also another indictment on any theory that promotes poverty, ghetto upbringing and single parenthood. Notwithstanding, a great or wealthy family is not a surety for success. Neither is the fact that single parenthood encourages failure. There are multiple examples of wayward children from wealthy families who could not sustain their inheritance. And there are examples of successful individuals like Barrack Obama who was raised principally by his mother with help from his grandfather.

Femi Otedola’s acquisition of 3 Lamborghinis for his daughters was the biggest trending news last week. His action made many to rethink fatherhood and what their lives would have become if they had a father like him. It made me to think about my father who promised to buy me a car when I graduate from the university. By the time I bagged my bachelor’s in civil engineering from the Obafemi Awolowo University Ile-ife, the recession then had weakened my father financially. He could not fulfill his promise. I recently marked the 5th anniversary of my father’s passing with loving memories of my childhood. My father showered me with the kind of love and attention that has made me a confident and competent adult. As a child growing up, he bought me the best toys he could afford and gave me spankings that uninstalled delinquencies and foolishness. As I think about Otedola’s gift to his daughters, I am reminded of my own father’s love and dedication to me. It brings me to the conclusion that the role of fathers in a child’s upbringing cannot be taken for granted. Hence, I advise Nigerian feminists led by Linda Ikeji who recently turned 40 years and others who have championed the mantra that promotes the irrelevance of fathers to desist from this falsehood. If her Baby Papa accepted her, she would be flaunting him today and the blogosphere will be painted red with their pictures celebrating her birthday together. Billionaires and women icon like Oprah do not go around denigrating men and the marriage institution like many Nigerian feminists do.

Young females out there should not be deceived by these feminists I can do it all message. Every child needs the love and attention of their mother and father. In the case where irreconcilable differences cause divorce, the parents must put the children first instead of demonizing each other to gain their children’s sympathy and love. Serena Williams, Tiger Woods, and Lewis Hamilton are all the greatest in their sports today because of the efforts of their fathers supported by their mothers. It is in this context that I am appealing to Femi Fani-Kayode and his wife – Precious Chikwendu to resolve whatever differences they might be experiencing. The truth about irreconcilable differences is that only a small percentage of them are truly irreconcilable. Femi Fani-Kayode’s boys need him in ways that are inestimable. Those boys are lions in the making if he plays his fatherly role as a wife to their mother. The best gift a father can give to his children is to continually love their mother.

So, I beseech all fathers out there who are nursing the idea of divorce or elevating a side chic to pause, reflect about the pros and cons and retrace their steps to rebuilding their homes. The building blocks of any great nation or people are the families that inhabits the nation or communities. If you are still single, choose wisely by studying your prospective spouse. No man, woman, or politician can pretend forever to an observant person. Be wise and choose wisely. Children are a major source of happiness or unhappiness for parents, especially in their old age. Your choice of spouse makes or mars this happiness. And your parenting time and skills makes all the difference in the emergence of a happy, competent, and complete adult who is an asset to the world.

Ata Ukuta, Editor  – www.towncryyers.com