Last week successful blogger and naira millionaire Linda Ikeji celebrated her 40th birthday that fellow blogger Kemi Olunloyo suggested is 42. Whatever her real age is, Linda has come of age. She has weathered many storms in her 4 decades on Earth and arrived alive. To be alive, healthy, and hopeful at 40 is an achievement in a nation like Nigeria, where life expectancy is decreasingly decreasing. Linda Ikeji is also an inspiration in many ways. She has metamorphosed from being a hustling young model to a somewhat satisfied middle-age woman with a media empire that is growing admirably. She has created a business, brand, and career that is worthy of praise and even a Ted Talk appearance. She has gotten to a point where she can afford many things money can buy. She celebrated her 40th birthday intending to gift herself 40 pairs of shoes that eventually became 85 pairs. This show of self-love and care is a validation of the gospel she has been preaching for years. By many standards, Linda Ikeji is a success story. But what is success? To me, success is living your envisioned life.
A very few live their vision or dreams. A smaller percentage lives beyond their dreams. And a very small percentage of individuals have it all by achieving the 3 Fs of life – Fame, Fortune, and Family. These individuals, like Denzel Washington, Serena Williams, and Omoni Oboli, have been able to navigate life to a point where they have left no significant stone unturned. This is an achievement many of us often feel are outside our reach. You will often hear people say you cannot have it all, or you cannot have your cake and eat it too. This mindset is also accompanied by people who say life is not a bed of roses. The truth is that the rose plant has thorns, but the plant is not defined by the thorns. Roses are described by their beautiful rose flower. We can allow ourselves to either be defined by the thorny experiences in our lives or the rosy ones. The choice is ours. And this choice changes our perception and realities in life. Our choices also influence the things that come our way or happen to us. A heart filled with bitterness and unforgiveness will almost definitely produce unhappy outcomes. Linda Ikeji for years made many young women and girls believe they do not need anyone and promoted the mantra of selfmadeness. Yet, when she was approaching 40, she planned to entrap a man with pregnancy. The man probably realized he was being set up as a trophy husband that Linda will use to validate her hypothesis that a financially independent woman can get anything her heart desires, including a man of her choice. This may be the reason for his rejection of the offer of marital bliss offered by Linda.
In life, you can have it all – family, fame, and fortune. Those who do not believe this greatly diminish their chances of accomplishing this rare achievement. Denzel Washington is a two-time Oscar winner. He is an A-List Hollywood celebrity with about 4 decades married to only one woman. His son has followed in his footsteps with successful movies like Black Klansman and the new movie – Tenet. Serena Williams is the greatest tennis player if you factor in gender and racism. Omoni Oboli is happily ensconced in Canada with her husband and 3 boys after achieving fame and fortune in movies as an actor, producer, and director. She is one of the few who have proven there are no jinx about marriage in Nollywood or the Nigerian entertainment industry. She is another example of someone who has it all. These are individuals have proven to us that you can have it all, but you also need people in your journey to the top, highlighting the importance of building valuable relationships. Linda Ikeji and a host of Nigerian female bloggers championed the mantra that when you become successful, you can buy anything you want including your desired man. The truth is that we need ourselves – man or woman. No individual is an island or truly self-made. The result of her mindset has manifested in her 85-shoes birthday celebration. We should all be careful about the thoughts we have for ourselves. We should be more careful about the words we say to ourselves. And we should be super careful about the goals we set out to accomplish. Many of these bloggers, pseudo-life coaches, and relationship commentators are fueled by bitter family life or past relationship. You will do yourself a lot of good by listening to those, whose life is living epistle of the life you want to live. You can have it all.
Ata Ukuta, Editor – www.towncryyers.com