Siblings, friends, colleagues, neighbors, tribal and national rivalry is one of the most avoidable sources of unhappiness on Earth. The causes of the 2 world wars can be attributed to national rivalry. Ethnic or tribal rivalry can be credited as the reason for most civil wars. The problems of Nigeria can be traced to ethnic rivalry. I recently watched a business video on YouTube and the business guru narrated two encounters. The first was with the staff of Microsoft, their driving force centers around beating Apple. His second encounter was with the personnel of Apple, they wanted to create products that would enhance the usability of technology. They did not mention Microsoft. It is no wonder that Apple is worth $2 trillion while Microsoft is lagging. They have tried doing Apple-like products unsuccessful like the Microsoft Surface tablet. Other products like the Microsoft Xbox gaming console is doing great because it is not an Apple copy. Lately, many Nigerian celebrities have been celebrating their birthdays and other milestones with Luxury cars, mansions, and clothing accessories, among others. This trend that is more common among individuals with complexes that point towards inferiority, publicly gift themselves cars and other expensive items that are not commensurate with their known sources of income. The need to show off has always been a strategy to look more successful than reality. You can hardly find men and women of substance like Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, or Aliko Dangote trying to substantiate their wealth by such public displays.
This showing-off trend has forced some celebrities who cannot afford such but want to be seen as progressive, become indebted by purchasing what they ordinarily cannot afford. There is the recent case of a BBNaija contestant who rented a glamorous and expensive hair without payment and was called out. It seems most of us cannot enjoy our success without showing off. This online showcase has often attracted unfriendly friends who design evil schemes. It has also placed unnecessary pressure on hardworking people who are living their lives according to their means but are seen as unsuccessful or not hardworking enough because of the fake progress exhibited by these show-offs. The phrase “Nigger Rich” was used frequently in the past for African American celebrities who lived ostentatiously without any sustainable strategy in place for their income. They lived like billionaires when they are just mere millionaires with shaky streams of income. There was a story trending about Shina Peters and Jim Ovia some months ago. The narrative was that years ago, both had similar net worth. But today, as a result of their lifestyle and investments, Jim Ovia is a certified dollar millionaire while Shina Peters is not even a certified Naira multi-millionaire.
Most siblings rivalry ends in bitterness and unfulfillment. These rivalries influence virtually every decision the siblings make. From their choice of spouse to choice of cars and even the school their children attend. This is a gross underutilization of our humanity. We are created differently. Even identical twins have different. Many friends end up pursuing careers that they are not supposed to because of their friends. Many brothers go into businesses they ought not to, because of their brothers. Many sisters and friends marry men they do not love because of a sibling or friend. The list of the outcomes of rivalry is endless and often leave the individuals dissatisfied with their choices and life. What Prince William and Harry of England are presently experiencing is an example of what sibling rivalry could cause if unchecked. We must study ourselves, before setting up a path for our lives. Our siblings, friends, competitors, or neighbors can be a guide for what works or does not work. But they must never dictate our path, or influence important decisions like career, marriage, and investments with the mindset of outdoing them. You are one of a kind. Do not become a photocopy. You are created in the image and likeness of God. Do not become the image of your sibling or friend. Be the original you are created to become. There are instances where rivalry has helped competitors like Messi and Ronaldo or Davido and Wizkid to raise their game. But, collaboration is always better and produces better results. Apple and Google are two great companies that were started by the collaborations of friends. The Ibru family, one of the most accomplished families in Nigeria, is a collaboration of brothers. As you plan to gift yourself, showing off should be your least concern. It is in this understanding, I gift myself unprecedented birthday gifts today 8 October 2020 – a happy family where siblings are loving collaborators, a global media empire, and a Wakanda.
Ata Timothy Ukuta