The recent encounter between Tiwa Savage and Seyi Shay in a beauty salon did not go beautifully. Instead, the ugly head of feminine rivalry emerged disgracefully triumphantly. The animosity between the two songstresses is dated. It came to a peak when Seyi Shey collaboratively used her glorious voice to do the inglorious act of shaming a sister with a song. After going too far in words, songs and actions, she decided to come close in a salon to say hi. For starters, quarrels between family and friends and what family and friends are made of. Often the bond of friendship becomes stronger after a quarrel. The problem that often lingers on in the mind of the insulted is the painful words. Many people forgive, but we are not designed to forget unless the person has dementia or other brain diseases.

This is one of the reasons family and friends must never say anything that is hurtful and will come to hunt them when reconciliation is needed. A word said out of anger or carelessness to a child can form the foundation of the child’s personality that will take years to normalize. A sentence made by a spouse during a heated exchange can form the basis of an irreconcilable difference that leads to a divorce. An outburst from a sibling can destroy a family fabric that was painstakingly woven by diligent parents. And an insensitive remark by a friend can become a reoccurring thought that prevents the friendship from ever recovering to how it used to be.

Over the years, I have formed the habit of switching myself into mute whenever there is anything that seems like a quarrel going on because of my tendency to say very hurtful truths that are difficult to forget. My family and friends do not often like this approach or see the wisdom in this strategy. However, it has saved me from hurting anyone with my words for a very long time. Many parents who voiced their misgivings about a child in comparison to another child usually initiate a destructive sibling rivalry that lasts long after their demise. Friendships that were made in heaven like that of Dbanj and Don Jazzy could not recover to factory settings because of words that cannot be deleted from memory. Prevention is always better than prayers. So, I enjoin you reading this to adopt a strategy of being on mute whenever you are angry.

Ata Ukuta, Editor – www.towncryyers.com