A recent interview featuring socialites Mercy Eke and Pretty Mike revealed the different mindsets men and women have about the good girl concept. In the interview, the men shared their take on how a woman should conduct herself in private and in the public. The women on the other hand shared their popular beliefs about men and what men really desire in a woman. The more I listened to the interviewees the more the necessity to write about the good girl concept became necessary. I know a lot of good girls, but one of my favorites is Mercy Chinwo. My choice of Mercy Chinwo brings the follow-up question – who is a good girl?
After going through the internet and not finding a definition that succinctly defines or describes the attributes of a good girl, I came up with mine. Which is drawn from the attributes of the good girls I know. For me, a good girl is a girl who does not bring shame to herself, her family, and her community. The key word here is shame and every community and culture has its definition of shame which is not as different as some would make us believe. Increasingly, many girls are subscribing to the belief that being a good girl does not pay, partly because the bad girls are normally the vocal ones. And they use every opportunity to try to rope good girls into the misery most of them presently find themselves in. The most visible role models out there are people in the entertainment industry. In Nigeria, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde can be said to be the most decorated or successful female if we use her movies and Time 100 accolades as a criterion – she is not a bad girl. Auntie Joke Silva and Omoni Oboli are women who have made themselves, family, and their communities proud. And they are all good women.
The successful marriage ceremonies of Mercy Chinwo can be said to be what most girls dream about. From the unimportant – her wedding attires to the important – her husband, her wedding can be said to be on point. But marriage is not the ceremonies, it is the life after the ceremonies. So again, what makes Mercy Chinwo a good girl? Her Wikipedia page reads: Mercy Chinwo is a Nigerian gospel musician, singer, actress, comedian, and songwriter. She started singing at age 8 in her church children’s choir, she won the Nigerian Idol Season 2 in 2012. From this first sentence, you can deduce the positive definition of who a good girl is, with regards to my earlier definition. A good girl is a girl who makes herself, her family, and her community proud. Mercy was able to discover and develop her entertainment talents. And even after winning the Nigerian Idol Season II, she still had the wisdom to choose gospel music as opposed to other genres of entertainment. The outcome of our lives is predicated on our choices. In another sense, a good girl is a girl that makes good choices. These choices range from her choice of friends, career, and life partner. So being a good girl transcends not just bringing shame to yourself and your family, it also includes you using the scarce opportunities that life presents with wisdom and diligence. As the days become weeks, months, and years, I wish Mercy the best life the Almighty God can give. For all of us, boys or girls, life is like a garden. The beautiful garden out there you admire is beautiful because someone is watering, weeding, and adding manure. For our lives to be beautiful we must do likewise.
Ata Ukuta – Editor, Towncryyers