More young kids have phones than ever before, but guidance is needed.

By Tamara Sobel J.D., C.S.E.

In the time it takes to read this article, over 40,000 cell phones will have been sold across the world. Increasingly, they will end up in the hands of the very young.

According to information from the Pew Research Center, more than a third of parents with a child under 12 say their child began interacting with a smartphone before the age of 5. In 2020, nearly 1 in 5 parents (17 percent) of a child 11 or younger had given their child their own phone. In another 2021 survey, 31 percent of 8-year-olds owned a smartphone, nearly tripling from 2015.

Many parents first provide their child with a cell phone for safety and convenience, to stay connected, and in case of an emergency. But the experience of having their own phone means much more—they will now have to navigate a rich but complicated world of constant social interactions, content, and time management that is extremely challenging.

A Child’s First Cell Phone

Diane Graber, the founder of Cyberwise, an educational resource supporting kids’ safe and healthy use of technology, has tips for parents about assessing whether their child is ready for a cell phone, as does the Digital Wellness Lab at Boston Children’s Hospital, here.

When they give their child a phone, many but not all parents try to set basic rules about where and how they can use it (hopefully not at the dinner table or at bedtime, in church/synagogue, etc.). Teachers and other school personnel generally try and set limits for phone use at school time. Many parents and teachers do provide some advice on “stranger danger” online, not giving out private information, and awareness of online bullying. But in many ways, when a child gets their first phone, they can be literally left to their own devices.

Parents have their own limitations, of course. They probably didn’t have a phone growing up, so have no learned guidance. And staying in touch with every new app, every new virtual danger, and every article of scientific research on kids and technology is way too much for most busy parents.

Adults’ own habits of reflexive, obtrusive, or addictive device use may contradict what they are asking of their children. (One recent survey showed that we adults check our phones on average 344 times a day, and a majority of those surveyed admitted they often check their phone while driving, when on a date, or even on the toilet!)

A “Digital Wellness” Approach

Enter digital wellness experts. They write books, have podcasts and blogs on being more conscious of how we use our devices, to maintain and optimize our physical and mental health, and are especially helpful for parents and kids. But there is more to digital wellness than limiting time onscreen or avoiding cyber predators (although both are important.)

Dr. Elizabeth Englander, a psychology professor and expert on children’s use of technology, observes: “Kids seem very confident when it comes to using new tech, but they’re not especially knowledgeable… there’s a big difference. But the more you know, the more health, social, and safety problems you can avoid.” She and her colleague Dr. Katharine Covino recently published a short book intended for any child who’s just gotten a phone. This handy little book, aptly titled You’ve Got A Phone, Now Read this Book!, speaks to kids with fitting advice using plenty of fun and humor.

Katie Davis, Ph.D., co-director of the University of Washington Digital Youth Lab and author of Technology’s Child (March 2023), adds: “Many children actually do want guidance from their parents when it comes to their technology use. They recognize the potential negative impact on their well-being, and they want help using tech more responsibly. They’re more likely to be receptive to a mediation approach based on trust and respect rather than unilateral restrictions or surveillance.”

In a perfect world, a handbook of some kind might come along with the purchase of a smartphone. Not a technical handbook telling us which buttons serve which functions or what type of charger to use, but one that tells how this new device will enthrall and inform and entertain us, but also about cybersafety, overuse, and the habit-forming nature of screens and of algorithmically-driven content. It could start to teach its young user about the need for critically assessing information and how easily we can be duped, skills we call “media literacy.” We could be informed about how depression, anxiety, F.O.M.O., and envy are so easily cultivated in all the time we spend in the online and social media world.

But even that would not be the whole solution.

We can look harder at our own tech habits through a lens of mindfulness and balance, setting an example for kids through our own conscious and healthy use of our devices.

We can encourage young people to learn how to be healthy and mindful users of technology themselves, critically assess content as well as their own habits and use of time. As teachers, parents, and therapists, we can encourage young people to talk about their digital experiences and the emotions—both good and bad—that come from constant communication and the image and information-filled world that our technology brings.

On a larger scale, we can advocate for including media literacy skills and digital wellness awareness as part of children’s formal education in schools and also in healthcare settings, starting from preschool and early grades.

Smart devices like cell phones are here to stay and will only get smarter. Let’s make sure we do, too.

Originally published at Psychology Today