An upbeat, fun relationship is much more likely to give you less stress… and to last a lifetime.
By Sarah Williams
If you’re anything like me, you probably have and you probably dropped that relationship in a hurry. In order to keep your relationship satisfying and healthy, it is pertinent to keep things exciting. There is no need to go all out like 50 Shades of Grey. Nevertheless, adding a little excitement to your relationship is always a good idea. Something new here and something kinky there never hurts.
This can be tough if you’re stuck in a relationship with a prude. So, how can you get that prude to open up and experiment a little more? I’ll provide you with some tips below.
1. Be Spontaneous
I am the type of individual that loves planning things out. Unfortunately, knowing what is going to happen ahead of time can definitely dull things down. So, when I want to spice things up with my partner, I try to be spontaneous. It is always fun and exciting to be caught off guard. This is a great way to encourage your partner to try new things. Don’t give them a chance to say no. Force them into the car and take them to your favorite hiking spot. Or, toss them on the bed and have your way with them.
They might feel awkward at first, but being spontaneous will ultimately make things much more exciting.
2. Talk It Down
A lot of people are afraid of trying something new because they believe it is going to be terrible or frightening. After all, change is difficult and the unknown is scary. This is why I strongly encourage talking it down. When my partner didn’t want to ride the big roller coaster at Six Flags, I had to put on my kid gloves. I told them that it would be fine. Thousands of people ride those same coasters each and every day. Nothing has happened to them. You’ll be just fine as well.
It took a lot of work, but I eventually got my way. Talking it down is a great way to help your partner gain confidence.
3. Talk It Up
While you’ll want to talk the subject down, you’ll also want to talk it up. It might seem like we’re defeating the purpose, but hear me out. First, you’ll want to talk it down to make the activity seem easy. Secondly, you’ll want to talk it up to show your partner that they’ll absolutely love it. Take the roller coaster example above. When attempting to get my partner on the ride, I was forced to tell them how much fun they would have. I talked it up really good.
You’re going to have the best time of your life! Once it is over, you’ll want to go again. Talking it up is a great way to get your partner excited about the activity. It can also help build anticipation and make the activity so much more fun in the future.
4. Ease Their Concerns
Your partner is afraid of the activity for one reason or another. Perhaps they’re afraid of heights? Or maybe they just don’t like the idea of cruising around a tiny track at 100 miles per hour? As your partner’s best friend, it is your job to identify and address their concerns. I found out that my partner was afraid of heights. That is exactly why they didn’t want to ride the coaster. After discovering this, I addressed the problem by promising that it wasn’t that high up. I gave my partner reassurance and eased their concerns.
With a little bit of luck, you’ll be able to get your partner to try anything, including DDLG. It is something that you may want to try with your partner in the future. I highly recommend it.
5. Praise Your Partner
In some cases, telling your partner that you want to try something new is going to sound like an insult. It may come off like you’re unimpressed with their performance and need them to change. You need to prevent this from happening at all costs.
Instead, you should do the opposite. Be sure to praise your partner for the things he or she has done. Hey honey, you were great. That was amazing! Have you been practicing? These are all ways to praise your partner.
I use these same phrases all the time and they work exceptionally well. Praising your partner will boost their confidence and make them ready to try something new.
6. Let Them Think It Over
When I want to experiment with my partner, I am eager to get started right away. Sometimes, I have to force myself to slow down and chill out. This is something that you need to learn as well. If you’re too forceful and persistent, there is a good chance that you’re going to scare your partner away.
Give them time to think it over. If the subject isn’t mentioned again in a few days, bring it back up. Giving your partner a little thinking time may play well in your favor.
7. Let Your Partner Know How Important It Is To You
If you are anything like me, being adventurous is probably something that you hold dear to your heart. In fact, learning how to undertake and complete new tasks is probably something that is extremely exciting and important to you. I felt the same way and this is why I conveyed my feelings to my partner.
At first, my partner was a bit on the defense about trying new things. But, once I opened up about my feelings, my significant other was more than willing to be adventurous and try new things. If your partner truly cares about you and takes your values seriously, then he or she will also be more than willing to try new things just to make you happy.
8. Drop Subtle Hints
You know how when your birthday or Christmas is coming up and you are always dropping subtle hints around your partner to let him or her know what you want? Well, this same concept can be applied to trying new things. Simply just drop some subtle hints about new and exciting things that you would like to try with your partner.
If you are not especially good at dropping hints, you always have the option of purchasing magazines or books and leave them lying around where your significant other will find them. For instance, if you want to try white water rafting for the first time, buy a white-water rafting guide and leave it lying by your partner’s nightstand, so that he or she will have to see it.
Leaving books and magazines in the bathroom by the toilet is also another great location, where you will most certainly be able to draw your lover’s attention.
9. Try Something Your Partner Wants
A relationship or marriage will only work if both individuals are willing to bend and give in to each other’s’ wishes How can you truly expect your partner to try things that you want if you are not willing to try the things that he or she wants to do? For instance, if your partner loves watching football, simply curl up beside him or her on the couch, during those Monday and Sunday night games. Regardless, of how clueless you are or how much you hate the sport, be sure to ask questions and act interested.
In addition to this, you can always just come out and tell your partner that you are willing to do something with them if they are willing to participate in an activity with you. For instance, you can tell your partner that you will attend the big game with them if they are willing to spend an evening in with your friends and family. Not only will this make you closer as a couple, but it gives you a chance to increase your problem-solving skills as a couple.
10. Use Other Couples To Get Your Point Across
Do you and your significant other have a couple or several different couples that you spend a large amount of your time with? Maybe these are your neighbors or maybe they are some old college friends. Whatever the situation is, there is no better way to drop subtle hints than by using your friends. For instance, when I wanted my partner to take a dance class with me, I simply got my friends to rave about their experience when they attended a dance class together.
By the time it was all said and done, my partner was rushing out and signing us up for the next swing class. You don’t only have to utilize other couples in this manner, but you can use your family as well. A good example of this would be to use your partner’s mother or father to simply tell your partner that he or she should be willing to try new and exciting activities.
Originally published at goodmenproject.com